It is common for us as a societal whole to assign blame for things that are either beyond our control or that we just choose not to take responsibility for. With an addiction, it is just as easy to blame those around you, life events and everything else for your addiction. However, this blame game can not only harm your relationships with those you place the blame on, but it is just another way to avoid facing the real problem.
The Blame Game
The initial drinking and drug use may have been used to place blame on others for a difficult situation, such as a parent placing blame upon their child for acting out or a child that feels neglected by their parent. Whatever or whomever is “to blame,” it still does not take long for the substance use to shift from an occasional getaway to a long term vacation. It can be challenging to realize this for a while, since that was the mentality when the use began. You really may not realize it until you have begun recovery and gained a clearer mindset. Nonetheless, within the recovery community it is made clear that blaming others for your addiction is not the answer, and you need to take responsibility for your own life and actions. Some may even say that blaming others will actually hold you back from moving forward in your new sober life. That said, it is always important that you do not assign blame onto yourself either. The best thing to do is to accept your addiction for what it was and to move forward from there.
A Two-Sided Street
The blame game does not always have to be the addict blaming others, at times it can be the loved ones who are still resentful towards the addict for past events that occurred while they were still using. This sort of blame can be harmful for the addict and their recovery. By continuously reminding the addict of their past mistakes you are not giving them the opportunity to rise above them, if anything you are still holding them down to that lower standard. Which could result in a trigger, later leading to a relapse. As hard as it may be and even though that trust may still be lacking after rehab, it is best to look at the positive side – that they are in recovery and making an effort.
If you or a loved one is struggling with drinking or drug use, call Serenity Acres today to speak to one of our addictions professionals, at 1-800-203-2024.